Envy, Jealousy, Coveting

I have really had a hard time lately dealing with the ugly sin of coveting, (Well, also jealousy too.) Mainly I feel that I just don't have enough materialistically. I see things that other people have and I want the same. I don't even stop to think of ALL the wonderful things God provides for me. I don't think about all the rich blessings I receive through my church, children, husband, and my life in general. I just focus on what I don't have, (i.e. an iPhone, flip camera, newer vehicle, more clothes, shoes, nicer home, etc and the list could go on and on and on...) The longer I harbor these feelings, and thoughts, I become angry, and not just angry, but bitter and then these feelings just fester.



This is never a good thing for a Christian to do, it makes for an ugly attitude, and an unbecoming spirit. A lot of people probably think "Well, she's a pastor's wife, she should be this perfect, upstanding Christian woman!" But you know what, I am human, and I sin, and have fleshly desires just like anyone else, (but that doesn't make it right or okay.)



While reading something just today, I again had that painful, anger in my heart of envy. It stabs, and it can eat you up inside. God showed me right then and there, that I have to give this all up, and repent, (unless I want to continue on my miserable path.) So I am praying to be not only satisfied with what God has given to me and my family, but to be happy about it all. I also pray that I will stop each time I feel those old feelings creep back up, and speak God's truth, not only to myself, but to others. God's word tells us in James this:



Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such wisdom does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual of the devil. For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every practice. James 3:13-16 NIV